My Vacation Lady found this article in an old blog posts about airlines. I have said many times that I would love it if I never had to deal with airlines again. It would make my life much easier.
We found some of these in an printed article from a travel trade magazine, from other blog posts (like Dauntless Jaunter) and then added a few of our own.
Again, this is all in jest, but we can all use a good chuckle now and then.
- Open Jaw– what clients do when they hear what their full fare coach tickets will cost.
- Air fare (the mathematics of)- the price of an airline ticket that can change so fast that they can’t be measured.
- Direct flight– either a connecting flight in disguise or what normal folk think is a non stop.
- In snack flight– a bag of something sealed so well that you need a chain saw to open it.
- Baggage carousel– otherwise known as the Bermuda triangle.
- Code share– a trick where several different airlines have a plane at the same gate at the same time.
- 737- The airline industry’s response to the overwhelming desire for more passengers to sit in the middle seat.
- Commuter jet- this is a 737 before it grows up or a school bus with wings on it.
- Minimum connecting time– the time it takes for an Olympic class sprinter to get from one gate to another at top speed.
- On time– a time that the airlines pad with about 30 minutes or so to keep their ratings higher. This may be compared to the ETA (estimated time of arrival) vs. the ATA (actual time of arrival)
- Blue Juice– the water in the toilets on the planes and similarly-
- Blue Room – which is flight attendant speak for bathroom or lavatory
- Crotch Watch – is what the flight attendants do prior to take off to make sure that all seat belts are on and fastened. Also known as a Groin Scan
- Holding Pen– yes, folks, this is where WE WAIT to board the plane
- Two for One Special– the really soft landings when the plan hits the runway, bounces up for a moment and then lands for good.
Hope these brought a smile to your face.
My Vacation Lady is an award winning travel agency in New Jersey. Our goal is to provide our clients with a stress free and seamless vacation or honeymoon and if we can make you smile even before your vacation– even better!